Growing like a weed...

Well, it has been busy around here! I'm finally getting into a routine with our new family of four. Eden is doing so great and is gaining weight like crazy. At her 2 week appointment, she had already gained 2 pounds and her doctor was amazed! She was last weighed at about 6 weeks or so and she was 11 lbs! She is definitely a little chunky monkey and has a ton of rolls. Now that she has filled out she is really starting to resemble Benjamin. She's a super sweet little baby and only cries when she's hungry. She's still waking up every 2-3 hours to eat so I'm pretty tired but I think I'm finally getting used to it. Maybe we'll get lucky and she'll start sleeping through the night before a year old like Benjamin did!

Benjamin is getting much better with his sister and showers her with about 100 kisses a day. He's really cute with her (most of the time) and the other day he went up to her and whispered to her "I love you Eden Grace". It was the most adorable thing ever. :) He still has his moments where he is too rough with her but it's much better than it was the first few weeks. I think he realizes that she's not going anywhere.

Except for the sleep deprivation, I feel really great. Breastfeeding has gone fantastic this time around, even with her being a preemie, which is so amazing. It was so hard with Benjamin so I'm glad we didn't have to deal with any issues. My recovery actually seemed better too and after a week or two I didn't even feel like I just had a baby.  Just feeling so blessed with all that God has given me!

Her first smile

My favorite picture of Benjamin snuggling with his sister

Sleeping beauty

She's here!

Well, a lot has happened since I last posted! I had my 34 week appointment and everything looked great. My OB was really excited that we got to 34 weeks and baby was measuring 4lb 11oz, right on track. A week later on Saturday, I was exactly 35 weeks and my sweet friend threw me a prayer brunch and a bunch of my friends came from church and prayed over me and the baby and it was a really great day. Someone made a joke about it being labor day weekend and to not go into labor. :) So that night we got ready for bed and I laid down in bed for the night and felt a gush, and then another...and then another. My water broke and I'm blaming it on the full moon we had the night before! ;)

So we threw a bunch more clothes into my hospital bag and we headed out to the hospital. I wasn't having contractions but Benjamin was born 4 hours after my water broke so I wanted to get moving as soon as possible. They confirmed that my water broke and said visually my cervix looked closed and they admitted me. The OB on call wanted to induce me right away but I put them off for over 24 hours. During that time, not much was happening at all. I would have random contractions every 10-15 minutes but they weren't strong. We agreed that they would induce me after 24 hours because it was safer to get the baby out than wait it out since I didn't appear to be in labor. I decided to try the breast pump as a last bit effort because all of the power walking and squats did nothing. The pump put things into high gear and I immediately starting getting contractions that were painful every 3 minutes. My nurse then freaked out (but was still calm) and explained to me that I did way too much and now I was in overdrive and the babies heart rate was deceling because it was too much too soon and if that continued to happen they would do a C-section. So now they agreed not to induce me because we would see what my body was going to do. Over the next 9 hours, my contractions were totally sporadic but painful and the decels mostly went away. After 9 hours they decided to check me finally and to everyone's surprise, I was 7cm! I hadn't slept since Friday night at this point so I was completely exhausted and so ready to be done. The OB really wanted to start me on pitocin since it was now 33 hours since my water broke and things were pretty slow going. I finally agreed because I was just tired! They started me on a very low dose and things definitely picked up and because a little more painful and way more consistent. Now I decided to get the epidural. I'm not sure happy about this decision but I was just too exhausted to keep going. The crazy thing is, pain wise, if Benjamin's labor pains were a 10 (and they were!), this was probably more of a 7. It was all mental, I just couldn't do it anymore with no sleep. So I got the epi and was able to rest for just a bit. Two hours later it was time to push and they turned it off (but it was still totally in my system). I pushed twice during a contraction and her head was right there. We waited for the next contraction...and waited and it seriously wouldn't come. Talk about a strange labor. So they just had me push without one. Another two pushes and her head was right there so my OB had me stop to stretch everything and a few tiny pushes later and baby slid right now. I still tore just a tiny bit in the same spot as last time. She did have her cord around her neck, which is why they said her heart kept deceling. They held the baby out to Rob and he said "It's a girl!" She came out screaming at the top of her lungs, which was so great because at 35 weeks you just never know how the lungs will be. They told me there was a 50/50 chance of her going to the NICU but her lungs were great and she got a 9 APGAR score so they let her stay on my chest for an hour! :) I was so happy about this and she also started rooting and latched on within minutes of birth. The doctors were amazed and said she was doing fantastic for being so early. She weighed 5lb 6oz and was 19 3/4". So she is tiny and super long! We are in the hospital for 48 hours for observation and she is passing all of the tests (no jaundice, no infection, & normal blood sugar) so it looks like we are headed home tomorrow. We are so so excited that she is so healthy for being early and are so blessed to have a little girl. Her name is Eden Grace. :)

God has blessed us with this little miracle from the very beginning and we can't wait to see what is in store for our little girl. She must be one special little lady.

My last belly pic-35 weeks

Ben holding his "baby seester" Eden

32 Weeks

I've been such a bad blogger lately but things have been super busy! We just got back from a week long family camp with our church that was 8 hours away, and then we visited family after that. I am so exhausted but we had such a great time!

Right before I left I had an appointment and was 31 weeks. Baby looked fantastic, cervix looked fantastic and I am still so thankful. My OB was very excited that I was finally past 30 weeks and said it was a miracle. :) Baby was measuring 3lb 11oz...and we still didn't find out who this little one is. It has been so hard not finding out if it's a boy or girl at each appointment but as it gets closer the anticipation is building and I'm getting really excited. I can't believe this baby could actually be here in 6 weeks if it's born around 38 weeks like Benjamin was. That blows my mind a little bit. And I'm SO not ready! I've got a million things to do...and we're in the middle of buying a house. Eeeek! All good problems to have though. I started getting the sciatic nerve pain and numbness down my left leg this week, which I definitely remember from last time too. Not fun at all but if that and some Braxton Hicks contractions are all I have to deal with, I'll take it. :)

I really really don't like this picture of me but haven't taken a belly pic in months so it will have to do.

On another note, we started potty training Benjamin this week. Prayers would be really really appreciated!!!

We made it!

I can't believe it but here we are at 28 weeks, our second milestone! We had our appointment on Friday and things couldn't have looked better. The SCH is still nowhere to be found and my cervix was measuring over 5cm! Seriously, this is unbelievable. I truly believe that God has worked a miracle in this pregnancy. To think that at 11 weeks I was told the worst and I had so many problems that the baby may not make it. One by one, each "issue" has resolved and at 28 weeks, I have a completely healthy baby, placenta, and cervix. And after 17 weeks of modified bed rest, I have officially been released from the couch with instructions to "take it easy". I can certainly do that! :)

I am so so thankful to still be pregnant. And the best part is, I don't have a cerclage, so I technically have a "normal" pregnancy. I do still have a higher risk than the average woman of having my water break, but there is nothing I can do to prevent it so I'm not even going to think about it. And baby, who is still a surprise, is measuring about 2 1/2 pounds. This baby is also super active (but not quite as much as Benjamin) and sleep hasn't been the easiest. I definitely feel pregnant and am starting to get slightly uncomfortable, but honestly, I still feel great! I don't even care that it's 100 degrees and I can barely breath. :) If this baby follows in Benjamin's footsteps and comes around 38 weeks, we'll be meeting our little miracle in 10 weeks! I just can't believe it and I know it's going to fly by. I feel like I have so much to do and I'm so excited that I can actually get up and do it. Yay!!

O LORD my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me. Psalm 30:2

To celebrate my newfound mobility, we went on a little last minute trip to South Lake and had such an amazing time as a family. I've never seen Benjamin so happy! All he wanted to do was talk about climbing the "big mountains", play at the lake or swim with his daddy. It was so fun and refreshing!

 

24 weeks

I made it to our first milestone of 24 weeks and things are looking fantastic! The news just keeps getting better and better. :) I had an appointment this week and my cervix was 4.8cm, which is really really great. It's amazing that it is so long and strong at this point, without a cerclage. The baby is still measuring big and is about 1 lb 6 oz. The best news was that there is NO sign of the SCH! It certainly could be hiding but after about 5 minutes of looking and looking, it was nowhere to be found. I am off all restrictions at 28 weeks since things continue to look so great and I am counting down the weeks. I had been getting a lot of Braxton Hicks over the last few weeks and those have decreased a lot. I still get them, but not nearly as many. I can't believe I may get to have a "normal" pregnancy, even if it's only for a few months. I can't wait to actually be able to go and do things and play with Benjamin.

I will say that I need to start watching what I eat. With Benjamin, I gained a total of 27 lbs (not 25 like I had thought) and as of today, I am already up 22 lbs! I seriously can't believe it. I am scared that I'm going to blow up like a balloon, so I better take it easy on the sweets and start eating a little bit better!

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. James 1:17

22 weeks

Almost 22 weeks now and only 2 more to go until goal #1! I had a great appointment on Monday and everything looks wonderful. My SCH is barely still there but my doctor officially said it is no longer a concern. He did say that I have an increased risk or Pprom (preterm premature rupture of membranes) for the rest of my pregnancy, but I already knew that. He also said it's not something to worry about though because it will either happen or it won't and there is nothing we can do to prevent it. My cervix also looked great, once again. It was over 5cm and with pressure it was in the high 4's. This is really crazy to me. When you have incompetent cervix, it doesn't just go away. In fact, your cervix can actually get weaker after each pregnancy. If I get through this pregnancy with no cervical concerns, I will never need a cerclage again and I will officially be healed. Hallelujah!

Baby is still measuring big and at just a few days over 21 weeks was already measuring 1lb 2oz, which is definitely on the large size. I think we're making another big baby! We are still not finding out the sex but I definitely have a feeling. A week or so ago I had a dream that I delivered a healthy, full term little girl. :) This is definitely starting to feel more real and I'm feeling just a tad excited. I made a rule of no purchases until 28 weeks though, so I can't wait for that. My most exciting news is that, as long as nothing changes, I am off ALL restrictions at 28 weeks! No bedrest, no pelvic rest...woo hoo! Of course I will absolutely be taking it easy and probably won't really exercise but I am SO looking forward to being a normal pregnant woman!

I have been looking back at what I wrote when pregnant with Benjamin and am so glad I talked about all of my symptoms. I've been having braxton hicks already for weeks and remembering that it was normal for me is helping. The baby has also been kicking like crazy for weeks now, which I love. This little one apparently has normal sleep cycles and is lazy in the morning/afternoon and more active in the evening, unlike Benjmain, who moved and kicked me nonstop! Another thing that is so different this time is my weight gain. I know I am starting a lot lighter than I did last time but I have gained an insane amount already! I only gained around 25 or so last time and I am already up almost 20 lbs. Eeek!

20 weeks

So I finally hit 20 weeks. Only 4 more weeks until my first milestone and boy is it going by slow! I had my next scheduled appointment this Friday and was trying to go a two full weeks between appointments but I didn't quite make it. I knew these next few weeks would be difficult because I'm creeping up on my loss times with the girls but add in more shooting pains and some Braxton Hicks and I headed in today to get checked out. They say these things start coming on earlier with each pregnancy but really? 20 weeks is a little too early for my comfort! The great news is that my cervix looks fantastic. :) It is long and closed and measured 4.8cm. That definitely makes me feel a TON better coming into these weeks. 24 weeks is just within my reach and I'm praying for peace to get me through it.

Halfway There!

So we are halfway there! I'm actually only 19 weeks but with Benjamin being born at 38 weeks, that means I'm halfway. :) So we had our anatomy scan yesterday and it went amazingly well. We got some great picks of our sweet baby and it looks perfect and healthy, which is all I wanted to hear. My hematoma has also shrunk a bit more and is now only 3.5cmx1.5cm, which is great news and I haven't had any more bleeding in weeks. The best news is that my cervix was measuring over 5cm! The normal cervical length at this point in pregnancy is 4-5cm and I'm even beyond that, so I am thrilled. I know things can change very quickly with incompetent cervix but that is a crazy long cervix so I'm confident that if it started to shorten at this point, we would be able to catch it in time. Over the last two weeks I started feeling some Braxton Hicks and started getting those stabbing pains in my vagina/cervix. If you've been pregnant, you know what I'm talking about. With Benjamin, I dubbed them the "vagina ninjas". Now I know they're normal but feeling those and not having a cerclage gave me a bit of anxiety. I didn't start to feel any of those until way later in the pregnancy last time but I guess they can happen earlier and earlier with each pregnancy. I am very thankful for the prayers this last week because they helped tremendously with my fear. We also stayed strong and didn't find out the gender! I don't know if I'll be able to hold out the entire pregnancy since we have so many ultrasounds, but we're going to try. I'm just so thankful that I'm still pregnanct and I'm bursting with joy that we get to be a part of this miracle. I know God chose us for this and I can't wait to tell our son or daughter how very special they are.

Just saying hi!

  

         Fold up like a burrito with the toes over the head!

Benjamin wanted to be a part of my belly picture. :)

Double Update

So I have had two appointments in the last two weeks but our Internet has been down for weeks so I haven't been able to update! Two weeks ago I started bleeding and then spotting a bit but it wasn't that bad and only lasted about 5 days. My peri had told me it would be normal but after a month of nothing, it wasn't fun. Anyway, he wasn't worried about it at all and we had our best appointment last week! The SCH shrunk a little bit more, down to 4.5cmx2cm so the volume is so tiny compared to what it started with. It is also well "consolidated", meaning it's clotted up and not fresh blood which is good and means the body should be able to continue to reabsorb it. The other awesome news is that all of my placental issues have been healed!! He was very happy to see all of this and said that one thing at a time was resolving itself and to consider myself almost halfway there. The decision is also that I won't be getting a cerclage unless he starts to see significant changes in my cervix and he will monitor me closely. Right now I'm only seeing him every 2 weeks but probably from 20-24 weeks I think I will see him every week.

Then we had another appointment this last Friday since he was going to be gone for a week and he didn't want me to go too long without coming in. No changes but everything still looks good and stable so we are all happy about that. This won't mean much to most of you but for some it might, so I will say that my cervix was about 4.6cm normally and 3.8 with lots of pressure, so that still looks really good. I'm trying not to be nervous about not having a cerclage but I will say that it will be a miracle if it turns out I don't have IC. He said that once I hit 28 weeks he'll consider me in the clear and the most amazing thing about that is that I may be able to actually have a normal pregnancy at that point. Just praying that the SCH disappears completely soon, that my cervix stays nice and strong and that we don't have any preterm labor issues! I'm still on modified bedrest (about 7 weeks now!) and he did give me a little more freedom. All I can say to that is Hallelujah! I have really been getting stir crazy this last week and am loving that I can go to church and out to eat, especially with all of this nice weather. :)

So that is my latest update! Thanking the Lord for all of the peace and joy that I have had, despite these circumstances and for continued healing. I will leave you all with a picture of our cute baby and a 17 week belly picture...I am getting HUGE so fast. Eeek! Also a pic of my little man and me at Easter. :)

 

Appointment Update

So I just realized that I never updated after my appointment last Friday! Let's start with the good news. :) First, I am 14 weeks and now in the 2nd trimester, which is what my OB said was the first milestone. The baby is also still measuring a week ahead, which is good because some of my complications can restrict growth, which is not happening at all. The other amazing news is that the hematoma is now less than half of the size that it was three weeks ago! Praise the Lord! It was measuring 10cmX8cm, which is very large and now it is 4cmx3cm. That is huge progress in a few weeks. I am to continue on modified bedrest like I have been but he did say I could go to church once a week, out to eat occasionally, etc. I really want to do more but I also don't want to push it because the progress has been so good so far. Oh, and now I am thinking it's a girl but we are still really trying not to find out. And especially if it is a girl, as much as I would love to buy some girly stuff, I really think I would have some anxiety if I found out for sure it was a girl, so I would really rather not know.

The not so great news is that all of my other issues are still there. The membranes are still a little separated and the side where the SCH is has been rubbing on the membranes so they are ragged and weaker than they should be, which puts me at a high risk of my water breaking early (Pprom). The edge of my placenta is still low lying over the cervix but will probably move up and the edge of the placenta is still lifting up (small abruption) but he is hoping that it will reattach when the placenta moves. The last big news is that I will NOT be getting a cerclage! I have very very mixed feelings about this. Because the SCH is still right over the cervix he said a cerclage will definitely cause more bleeding and would possibly cause my water to break so the risks are just not worth it at this point. My cervix was measuring 5cm, which is really long and good and he will continue to check it every 2 weeks to measure the length. If it starts to shorten significantly, we will probably do the cerclage even with the major risks involved. So, this really scares me because if I truly do have IC, checking every two weeks likely will not catch it in time and I could lose the baby. On the other hand, my old doctors could never agree if I truly have IC or not and with the cerclage with Benjamin, my cervix was 4 or 5cm the entire pregnancy, which is beyond fantastic. I always wondered as well if I truly had it, especially after my last pregnancy. Of course, I assumed I would just always get a cerclage because I wasn't willing to "test it" and know for sure, but now that is out of my hands. So, all I can do is rest...and wait...and continue to pray for a miracle. Medically speaking, I feel like it is highly likely that this baby won't be coming home and the odds are definitely stacked against me, but I do know that God is bigger than all of this and I have been feeling peace about all of it. Time to just trust in the Lord.

I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4

12 weeks!

Well, here I am at 12 weeks! The good news is I'm still pregnant and I haven't been bleeding anymore! We really won't know anything more until two more weeks at my next ultrasound, so I just have to be patient and hope for a miraculous healing. I actually feel just fine physically so that makes this especially difficult to lay on the couch all day. I forgot how hard this bedrest was but it's all coming back to me now! We've had to hire a nanny to come take care of Benjamin during the day and help around the house and then poor Rob does everything all evening and weekend to take care of Benjamin and I. Our church family and my mom have been really great and are helping a ton and providing meals, so we are very thankful for that! I've been good for the most part but I've had a few rough emotional days. My mind can't help but wonder if I'm going to have to say goodbye to another baby and the anticipation of not knowing is hard. I'm just trusting in the Lord for strength to get through this.

I've pretty much completely popped out so I thought I'd take a belly picture. Baby was measuring a week ahead so I'm guessing he's about 13 weeks now. And yes, I think it's a boy. :)

Miracles

Well, I saw the high risk OB today and was given a very bleak diagnosis. The baby is measuring a week ahead and looks great but there are several issues going on. I have a low lying placenta, which is causing some bleeding, but it may move up so it's not a huge concern at this point. I also have a massive subchorionic hematoma that is surrounding half of the baby and sac. There is blood and blood clots pooled up everywhere and he said I'll probably bleed throughout my entire pregnancy. This hemtoma is a huge risk to the baby and if it grows any bigger the baby could die. It is also causing part of the placenta to detach from the uterus as well as the sac layers to separate and if either of these two things continue or get worse, the baby will die. The specialist said things look "very bad". It looks like I will need to be on bedrest for the duration of the pregnancy. I have a follow up appointment on April 6th to see if things have improved. Apparently this is another fluke. Wow, what are my chances, right? Please pray for miracle!


This diagnosis makes me realize even more what a miracle Benjamin is. Sometimes I still can't believe he is ours and we got to bring him home!

Prayers Appreciated!

Well, I was definitely expecting a little bit of craziness with this pregnancy, since I'm supposed to get the cerclage in a few weeks, but was really hoping for some smooth sailing! Guess I was a little too optimistic. :) I'll be 11 weeks on Saturday and this past week I started bleeding bright red! I was quite shocked but actually stayed pretty calm and was wondering if maybe I was going to have a miscarriage at 10 weeks. I went to my OB and had an ultrasound and the baby looked great and the heartbeat was strong, which was such a relief! So I was told they don't know why I'm bleeding and to take it easy. Everything was good for about 48 hours and then I had another bleeding episode yesterday. So I'm back to laying on the couch. I honestly am thinking maybe I have a sub chorionic hematoma, but they told me it was too early to tell, which I find interesting because many people are diagnosed with this as early as 5 or 6 weeks. So it just makes me think my doctor's ultrasound machine isn't good enough to see one. Anyway, I already had my high risk appointment scheduled for Monday so I'm hoping they can tell me more after an ultrasound with their high tech equipment. I've never had bleeding in the first trimester before but hey, there's a first for everything right? I've been praying a lot and I am definitely feeling the prayers of others so I know that is giving me peace. I'm just trying to trust in Jesus and am really hoping this baby makes it home this fall! One fear I have is that I don't think I can get a cerclage if I'm bleeding so if this keeps coming, we might be in trouble. Prayers are definitely appreciated!

HUGE news!

So, just a few weeks after we got certified, we got the call! I can't believe it happened so fast, but we got a call for a little 2 month old baby boy. He is SO adorable and Benjamin is loving him too.  He is so thick and weighs 14 lbs. already and is wearing 3-6 month clothes. He wakes up a few times a night to eat, which is already better than Benjamin ever was, but it sure is an adjustment! He has just a bit of fuzzy hair and big blue eyes. We were told this was only temporary (1-2 months) and they were right. We only had him for three short weeks and then he went to live with his new foster/adoptive family, who has already adopted his 15 month old sister. It was really hard to say goodbye and I cried the first night, but I know that we'll be fine. I also get to continue to pray for him and even though he is with his possibly adoptive family, he is still in reunification with his mother so this family does have to fight to try to keep him and it may not be an easy road for them. So right when we had to give him up, our social worker asked if we wanted to take another little baby boy who is 6 weeks. We would only have a few days in between the two babies and I was told this would be a 6-12 month placement. We thought and prayed about it for a day and had to give an answer and we said yes! So I was really excited about another little one coming to join us and a few days later received a call that he was unexpectedly being reunited with his birth father, so he won't be coming here after all. I've learned this process is definitely an emotional roller coaster, but we are just rolling with the punches!

Here is a pic of Ben holding the little guy. It's not a great picture of him but I didn't think I should really show his face, since this is public.

In other big news, see the picture below. We found out right after we got certified. I know, right?!? Huge miracle! :)

Had an ultrasound today and saw the heartbeat! I'm due very early October, which probably means baby will be here late September. Prayers would definitely be appreciated!!

It's Official!

So it's official that I am a horrible blogger! I cannot believe I haven't written a post since June. So life has been crazy and fun. Being at home with Benjamin is amazing and fulfilling and there is not a dull moment around here. I am very much embracing my inner homemaker and loving it!

 Ben at 18 months

 These are a few pics that we had taken over the summer by a friend of Rob's sister. They turned out great! (Taken by Lovelock and Co)

Here's Benjamin trying to pick up a giant pumpkin!

God has also been blessing our business abundantly and it is so awesome to see. We keep having to hire new employees, which is so cool, especially in this economy! I believe we now have 8 full time employees, not counting Rob. It is so amazing to look at it all now and remembering how we started working right out of our garage with Rob doing all of the work.







Benjamin turned 2 in December and I can't believe it. He is getting so huge and he talks up a storm. He loves to talk and he has been singing, which is so cute. He also now asks me to rock with him and sing to him before nap and bedtime, which I just love so much. I used to rock him to sleep when he was a baby and then around 1 he stopped letting me so I am really enjoying my cuddle time. He also loves to throw, destroy, and take apart everything, as well as wrestle.



It's also official that we are finally certified for foster care! I laugh when I see we thought it would be done in August. :) It took quite a bit longer than expected but I am happy to report that it is done and now we just wait for a phone call. Very excited, and a bit nervous but we know this is what we are supposed to do.

This is how he sleeps in the car :)