Monday, May 12, 2014

Another in Heaven

I've been dreading writing this post. Shortly after my last post, we found out the baby died. The SCH was responsible and it is amazing to me that Eden made it and this baby didn't, even though it was so tiny this time. I bled again and went in for an ultrasound and the SCH was literally taking up my entire uterus. It was massive. It basically smashed the baby. I had to wait for weeks and finally miscarried at 13 weeks, with the baby having passed at 11.5 weeks. My OB actually made me go naturally and is was very traumatic. I won't give details but it was similar to labor and delivery, but not as intense, but still very painful. I passed clots larger than I thought possible. After hours of non-stop bleeding and clots, I started to black out and Rob had to call 911. During the ambulance ride my BP dropped even lower than it was and I could tell the EMT knew it was more severe than she thought and I heard her go tell the driver to upgrade me and get us there as fast as possible. The ER had blood waiting for me and we thought for sure that I would need a transfusion but I am so thankful that I didn't end up getting one. The ER experience was also horrible and the only bright spot was a sweet Christian nurse who told me she was praying for me. The recovery also has been slow and 7 weeks later, I am still spotting. I've been weak from low iron but mostly feel normal, but it does come and go. I would have been 20 weeks on Mother's Day. :(

We are also still doing foster care and are currently finishing up our home study for adoption. About a month ago we had a little 10 month old girl that was only temporary but we were asked if we would be willing to have her placed with us. We totally fell in love with her and she fit in our family so well. Then she wasn't placed with us as we thought she would be and we were heartbroken and she left after 2 weeks, so we were sad all over again. The foster care system can be so complicated sometimes.

So here we are, grieving, but so thankful for our little miracles. Sometimes I wonder how these kids even made it. Just praying for what the future of our family might look like and trusting that the Lord has it all worked out.

Monday, March 10, 2014

18 months...and some news!

I can't believe it has been 6 months since I posted but it's been busy around here. Eden is 18 months old and such a little lady. She is so adorable and has a ton of curly blond hair like her daddy! She is seriously so advanced and talks amazingly for her age. I seriously can't believe her vocabulary and her ped even mentioned how advanced she is. I just think that is so amazing, given that she was born 5 weeks early! Ben turned 4 in December and I can't believe how old he is getting. He is such a sweet boy that melts my heart, (as long as he's not hurting his sister!) It's so great seeing them play together and interact and they just love each other so much.

As for the big news, we found out that we are expecting another little blessing in September!! We are still a bit in shock but are cautiously optimistic. I am 11 weeks and we've been hoping for a very boring pregnancy. Unfortunately, last week I started bleeding and it's deja vu all over again. I went in for an ultrasound and baby looks great but I was diagnosed with a subchorionic hematoma, just like last time. I seriously could not believe it. The good news is, it is very very small compared to last time. At this time with Eden, it was 10cmx8cm and this time it is only 3cmx.5cm. After a few bleeds, I am resting even though my OB (a new one) told me I do not need bedrest. I'm hoping after a week of relaxing I can resume normal activity and not need bedrest. I have an ultrasound in another week so I pray it will have shrunk or disappeared by then!

Thursday, September 19, 2013

1 year!

I really can't believe that our sweet Eden Grace is already a year old. It's amazing how time flies. I am still in awe that our little girl was born 100% healthy and we got to take her home. Things could have gone so differently and I truly know it's a miracle that she got to come home with us at all.

She is such a little snuggler, which I love! She loves her big brother and tries to play with him all the time. They are so cute together and already fight with each other. She is quite the vocal one as well. She makes it known when she doesn't like something and yells very loudly. She already says a ton of words and is definitely more advanced than Ben was at this age. She says mama, dada, Ben (sounds like Ba) no, up, bye and more. She walks across a room but definitely prefers to crawl so far.

Life is just busy and crazy but fun! We are actually just finishing up a few things to stay certified for foster care and have been praying about accepting placements again towards the end of this year. It definitely scares me to even think about going from 2 to 3 but I guess we'll see what happens!

Wednesday, July 3, 2013


I have been so bad about being on here and I seriously can't believe that our little Eden is going to be a year old in a few months. So insane! Life is grand, we are blessed, and I have to pinch myself to make sure it's all real. The kids are getting so big and watching them grow is awesome. There really isn't anything new or exciting, just living life. :)

 Side by side of the kids at 5 months

 Family trip to the ocean

 8 months

 Baby kisses

Sibling love

Sunday, January 27, 2013

4 months

So I've been horrible at updates, but what can I say? I'm a little busy. :) Eden is doing fantastic and still growing so well. She's almost 5 months now and at her 4 month appointment she was 15lbs. and 25". She is so strong too and has been sitting up for a few weeks. She topples over after a little bit but she beat her brother on this milestone because he was 5 months before he sat up! She is such a happy baby and is always smiling and laughing. Benjamin gets her to laugh the loudest and she just loves her brother! We had a rough period from a little after 6-12 weeks where she was colicky but thank the Lord that went away. I thought I was going to lose my mind. She would cry every evening for a few hours and nothing would help. She still isn't a great sleeper and is up every 3-4 hours...sometimes every 2 still. Sooo, I'm a bit of a zombie but have adjusted and am handling it much better than I did with Benjamin. Still hoping that one day she just starts sleeping through the night! :)

Benjamin is the best big brother and just loves Eden so much. Every morning and after every nap all he wants to do is see her and always tells her he misses her and loves her. He turned 3 in December and I can't believe how much of a big boy he is. Time really does fly by! I'm adjusting to life with 2 kids and it's really quite fun. I feel so blessed to be able to stay at home and raise these two little munchkins!

2 months

Benjamin is 3!

Merry Christmas

4 months

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Growing like a weed...

Well, it has been busy around here! I'm finally getting into a routine with our new family of four. Eden is doing so great and is gaining weight like crazy. At her 2 week appointment, she had already gained 2 pounds and her doctor was amazed! She was last weighed at about 6 weeks or so and she was 11 lbs! She is definitely a little chunky monkey and has a ton of rolls. Now that she has filled out she is really starting to resemble Benjamin. She's a super sweet little baby and only cries when she's hungry. She's still waking up every 2-3 hours to eat so I'm pretty tired but I think I'm finally getting used to it. Maybe we'll get lucky and she'll start sleeping through the night before a year old like Benjamin did!

Benjamin is getting much better with his sister and showers her with about 100 kisses a day. He's really cute with her (most of the time) and the other day he went up to her and whispered to her "I love you Eden Grace". It was the most adorable thing ever. :) He still has his moments where he is too rough with her but it's much better than it was the first few weeks. I think he realizes that she's not going anywhere.

Except for the sleep deprivation, I feel really great. Breastfeeding has gone fantastic this time around, even with her being a preemie, which is so amazing. It was so hard with Benjamin so I'm glad we didn't have to deal with any issues. My recovery actually seemed better too and after a week or two I didn't even feel like I just had a baby.  Just feeling so blessed with all that God has given me!

Her first smile

My favorite picture of Benjamin snuggling with his sister

Sleeping beauty

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

She's here!

Well, a lot has happened since I last posted! I had my 34 week appointment and everything looked great. My OB was really excited that we got to 34 weeks and baby was measuring 4lb 11oz, right on track. A week later on Saturday, I was exactly 35 weeks and my sweet friend threw me a prayer brunch and a bunch of my friends came from church and prayed over me and the baby and it was a really great day. Someone made a joke about it being labor day weekend and to not go into labor. :) So that night we got ready for bed and I laid down in bed for the night and felt a gush, and then another...and then another. My water broke and I'm blaming it on the full moon we had the night before! ;)

So we threw a bunch more clothes into my hospital bag and we headed out to the hospital. I wasn't having contractions but Benjamin was born 4 hours after my water broke so I wanted to get moving as soon as possible. They confirmed that my water broke and said visually my cervix looked closed and they admitted me. The OB on call wanted to induce me right away but I put them off for over 24 hours. During that time, not much was happening at all. I would have random contractions every 10-15 minutes but they weren't strong. We agreed that they would induce me after 24 hours because it was safer to get the baby out than wait it out since I didn't appear to be in labor. I decided to try the breast pump as a last bit effort because all of the power walking and squats did nothing. The pump put things into high gear and I immediately starting getting contractions that were painful every 3 minutes. My nurse then freaked out (but was still calm) and explained to me that I did way too much and now I was in overdrive and the babies heart rate was deceling because it was too much too soon and if that continued to happen they would do a C-section. So now they agreed not to induce me because we would see what my body was going to do. Over the next 9 hours, my contractions were totally sporadic but painful and the decels mostly went away. After 9 hours they decided to check me finally and to everyone's surprise, I was 7cm! I hadn't slept since Friday night at this point so I was completely exhausted and so ready to be done. The OB really wanted to start me on pitocin since it was now 33 hours since my water broke and things were pretty slow going. I finally agreed because I was just tired! They started me on a very low dose and things definitely picked up and because a little more painful and way more consistent. Now I decided to get the epidural. I'm not sure happy about this decision but I was just too exhausted to keep going. The crazy thing is, pain wise, if Benjamin's labor pains were a 10 (and they were!), this was probably more of a 7. It was all mental, I just couldn't do it anymore with no sleep. So I got the epi and was able to rest for just a bit. Two hours later it was time to push and they turned it off (but it was still totally in my system). I pushed twice during a contraction and her head was right there. We waited for the next contraction...and waited and it seriously wouldn't come. Talk about a strange labor. So they just had me push without one. Another two pushes and her head was right there so my OB had me stop to stretch everything and a few tiny pushes later and baby slid right now. I still tore just a tiny bit in the same spot as last time. She did have her cord around her neck, which is why they said her heart kept deceling. They held the baby out to Rob and he said "It's a girl!" She came out screaming at the top of her lungs, which was so great because at 35 weeks you just never know how the lungs will be. They told me there was a 50/50 chance of her going to the NICU but her lungs were great and she got a 9 APGAR score so they let her stay on my chest for an hour! :) I was so happy about this and she also started rooting and latched on within minutes of birth. The doctors were amazed and said she was doing fantastic for being so early. She weighed 5lb 6oz and was 19 3/4". So she is tiny and super long! We are in the hospital for 48 hours for observation and she is passing all of the tests (no jaundice, no infection, & normal blood sugar) so it looks like we are headed home tomorrow. We are so so excited that she is so healthy for being early and are so blessed to have a little girl. Her name is Eden Grace. :)

God has blessed us with this little miracle from the very beginning and we can't wait to see what is in store for our little girl. She must be one special little lady.

My last belly pic-35 weeks

Ben holding his "baby seester" Eden