Wednesday, July 8, 2009


So we had a peri appointment and my cervix looks great! It's measuring 5.6, which is really good and long. I was pleasantly surprised that they took all kinds of measurements for growth, so we got to see the baby kicking and flipping all over the place. I'm measuring 16 weeks and the tech and my peri also both said boy! I don't know why I'm still not convinced but you can verify it yourself with the picture below. I went to see my OB right after the ultrasound and he was very excited about my cervical measurement. He actually told me that from now until my next appointment, I can actually go out to dinner or a movie if I want. I was so excited! Rob and I went straight to dinner at a new Thai place and it was amazingly good. The baby liked it too because he was kicking up a storm. I've been feeling kicks all week now which makes me happy. They aren't super strong but they're definitely noticeable. It's one of my favorite parts of pregnancy. :)

I'm not feeling happy or sad at this point...pretty neutral. I think because I'm still over a month out from my 'danger zone'. Week 20 to 24 are going to be very difficult for me and I'm not looking forward to it at all. I can't even think of the future past that point because I'm not convinced that I'll ever get there. I so wish I could see the future. What I wouldn't give to know 100% that this baby was coming home with me and then I could have a blissful and happy normal pregnancy. I could actually have a baby shower, buy things, set up a would all be too easy!



  1. Hi Jenell,
    I feel like I'm kind of lurking on your blog. I hope it's okay. I found Mackenna's and Alexis' and Ashlen's blog shortly after my loss. I instantly felt connected to your situation because we both lost our sweet babies to IC and we both lost our dads, all in a short period of time.
    I'm glad your doctor gave you a little bit of freedom. I'm sure it's nice to get out and feel normal for a bit. Wishing you lots more peace and many many more weeks of an uneventful pregnancy.

  2. Hey lady! Happy to hear things are going well! I love all the ultrasound pics.

  3. Yay Jenny!! I am so glad to hear things are going good, and that dinner out was yummy!!! Your little guy looks so cute in the ultrasound pictures, I love them! Definitely a boy in there :)

  4. Hey Jenell,

    I belong to the second and thrid trimester group, and am also pregnant with a rainbow baby, I'm almost 15 weeks so you're a week ahead of me. Our daughter, Lily, died at 23 weeks due to a placenta abruption on August 3, 2008. This pregnancy is high-risk due to having a uterine rupture on the same day that we lost Lily.

    I've seen your other blogs for your baby girls and my heart goes out to you. I'm prayerful that your little man is the one that you bring home with you safely from the hospital.

    My prayers are with you,

  5. I've been following your blog, and I just have to comment and say that I am going through the EXACT same feelings right now that you are describing.
    The not happy, not sad, just neutral.
    And the worry between weeks 20-24, and so on.
    I lost my baby girl at 24 weeks gestation due to what appeared to be a silent placental abruption.
    I'm currently 13w2days according to our dating ultrasound that was done. So yeah, over the first hump of the pregnancy, but that doesn't make me feel relieved yet.
    It sometimes feels like I'm just holding my breath.

  6. Hi Jenell,

    My name is Amanda. I came upon your blog after I googled "having baby after stillbirth of twins." My husband and I have a very similar story to yours....and I haven't found anyone who has experienced the same heartache until I discovered your blog. God granted my hearts desire to have twins and on our first pregnancy we were having twins! Around 18 wks we were told that the babies weren't growing at the same rate and I was sent to a specialist. The twins were thought to have twin to twin syndrome but finally concluded that the twins were identical and had unequal placental sharing. On March 12, 2009 I delivered our stillborn sons Elijah Kruse and Roman Graeme at 21 weeks. Our hearts were broken and filled with God's abundant grace at the same time. We knew we weren't taking our sweet babies home but we also knew that they were already in heaven with healed bodies. So, it has been four months and I am ready to try again. My boys due date was July 18 which will be just a few more days. I having been trying to think of things that I could do to honor their lives and your blog and walk for March of Dimes has definitely inspired me.

  7. We have been following your updates since hearing Makenna's story from the Sparks after losing our son Ethan at 24 weeks. I have been praying for you since and relate so much to your blog posts. I feel very hopeful for you guys. I too had a cerclage put in this time around, took the baby aspirin, extra folic acid, and had a restricted pregnancy all the way until the stitch came out at 36 weeks. I am now 38 weeks and our little miracle girl is still hanging in there. I still can't completely exhale though and probably won't until she comes out kicking and screaming. It's been a roller coaster as you know more than anyone. Sometimes it's easier to believe for others than yourself. So just know others are hoping and keeping the faith for you even when you feel you can't.

  8. Hi Jenell,

    Congratulations! The ultrasound pictures are great! I can't believe thats what we all look like at one time in our lives.

    I'm Hua, the director of Wellsphere's HealthBlogger Network, a network of over 2,000 of the best health writers on the web (including doctors, nurses, healthy living professionals, and expert patients). I think your blog would be a great addition to the Network, and I'd like to invite you to learn more about it and apply to join at Once approved by our Chief Medical Officer, your posts will be republished on Wellsphere where they will be available to over 5 million monthly visitors who come to the site looking for health information and support. There’s no cost and no extra work for you! The HealthBlogger page ( provides details about participation, but if you have any questions please feel free to email me at