New Pics

So before I went to the hospital yesterday, my OB did a quick ultrasound in his office. Everything looked great and baby was measuring right on. So Rob and I pretty much figured we would find out the gender when it was time and I'm really impatient, so when my OB asked if we were wanting to find out, we both said "yes!". Now remember at this point I am just under 14 weeks, so it's pretty ridiculous to find out gender at this point, but my OB decided he would give it a try. He said if he is right this would be the earliest that he has ever confirmed gender, so I'm not taking anything to the bank. I'll let you look at the picture and decide for yourself. He said he's fairly certain though. :) The second picture shows the goods.

I'm Home

So I'm home from the hospital! Everything went so well with the cerclage that they kept me all day for observation, but then sent me home instead of making me stay overnight. The procedure went great and my OB said they got the stitch really high and tight and everything went perfect. The epidural was just fine and wasn't bad at all. The anticipation was definitely a lot worse than it all really was, but I'm glad it's finally over. I had just a tiny bit of cramping but it was almost gone when I left the hospital and I took some tylenol and feel fine now. I'm lounging on the couch, which is probably where I'll be for the next few days. I was in the recovery room all afternoon and two different women came in with their brand news babies, which was a little difficult. I wish I could pretend that will be me in a few months, but I just can't picture it actually happening. A girl can always dream.

Some Kind of Honeymoon

They (whoever ‘they’ are) always say that the 2nd trimester is the honeymoon trimester. It’s supposed to be the time when you start feeling better, you get your energy back and you start to glow. You start to get that cute little baby bump and this trimester is the safest, with the fewest complications. Once you’re out of the 1^st trimester, it’s smooth sailing from here, since your chance of miscarriage now is practically nothing. Oh how I wish that was all so true! Why does this have to be my nightmare trimester…the time when all of my babies have died? I should be relaxing now but this is when I tense up. This is when the anxiety kicks in and I start to freak out. I worry that I will go into preterm labor, that my cervix will dilate too soon, my baby is going to kick through my cervix, that I will have a placental abruption, that it’s heart will just stop beating for no reason….I could go on and on, but those are all just the things that have already happened. There are so many other horrible things that could still happen. I mean, I’ve never had a baby that has a disease or disorder that is ‘incompatible with life’. I’ve never had a baby die of a cord accident or a blood clot. Shoot, I’ve never even had a miscarriage! I know I’m supposed to be thinking positive, right? But it didn’t work for me last time, so what makes me think it will do anything this time? People keep asking if I’m excited when they find out I’m pregnant. Really? I actually just want to ask them if they would be excited if they were pregnant after their last three babies died. Probably not. So to answer that question…nope, I’m not excited…not even a little. I’m anxious, apprehensive, doubtful, and scared. Well that sure was a downer post, wasn’t it?

Father's Day

Well, today was my first father's day without my dad. We all got together at my mom's house and spread my dad's ashes out in the back field, with beer in hand, which were his wishes. Of course, I couldn't drink any of mine! I can't believe it's been 6 months since he's been gone. 6 months without my dad...7 months without my girls. Time sure is flying by.

We had my pre-op appointment last week and guess I'm all ready to go. I go my OB's in the morning for a quick ultrasound and then walk across to the hospital to get all checked in. The procedure is at noon, so please pray that all goes well. At last measurement was cervix was 4.8, which was great and super long, which means he can get the stitches up higher, which is better. Hopefully it is still that long! I can't eat or drink anything after midnight, not even water, so that's going to be a little tough for me. So at about 12:30pm, right after the procedure, I'm going to be chugging some water and scarfing down some food. I'm staying overnight for observation and then it's housebound for me. I'm super nervous about getting the required epidural, since it's something I have never planned on getting...ever. Also nervous about the cramping and bleeding that I'm supposed to experience. Not exactly something I want to feel while I'm this early.

12 weeks

I had an ultrasound on Thursday and everything is looking great. The baby is measuring a few days ahead and my cervix is really long, which is good. I have a pre-op appointment next week and then my cerclage is scheduled for the 25th. I'll get the cerclage and then I have to stay overnight in the hospital for observation and will be going home on Friday. Here are a few pics from the ultrasound.

11 weeks

Well, I'm 11 weeks and was able to find the baby's heartbeat at home with my doppler! Yay! It makes me feel so much better to be able to hear the heartbeat and I really need that reassurance in between my appointments. My NT scan is next Thursday and I'm excited about it. It's a detailed ultrasound where they look for signs of choromosonal abnormalites and it is pretty detailed so I'll get to see the baby for about 30 minutes. With the girls, I got to see them kicking, flipping and sucking their thumbs, so it was really awesome. So I've lost about 5 pounds so far, and it truly baffles my mind. I have to work hard not to gain weight when I'm not pregnant, but for some reason, babies just suck all the weight right off me. With Makenna, I had gained zero pounds by the 23 week mark. My OB at the time and this OB now have assured me not to worry because the baby will take everything it needs from me. And yes, I eat ALL the time.

Camping

So Rob, Bailey and I went camping this last weekend from Thursday to Sunday. We had such an amazing time! We camped in the El Dorado National Forest at a little campground in Icehouse Resevoir. We got a perfect site right on the end, so it backed up to the woods and it had it's own private little beachfront area. We definitely needed the relaxation and just being out in nature was replenishment for our souls! The pictures below are of our campsite and the view from the site.