Merry Christmas

Wow, where has the time gone? Now I understand when people say the first 6 weeks or so go by in a blur. Time has little meaning to me now and I never know what day or time it even is. I can't believe Benjamin has been here for 12 days! It seems like he was just born but also like he has always been here, if that even makes sense. I'm pretty delirious these days but I guess that's what happens when you only get a few hours of sleep every night. It's been quite tough but we're adjusting to parenthood! I've had some breastfeeding issues, to say the least. No one told me it would be this hard! I ended up with a pretty serious infection and am currently pumping around the clock. We've also had to give him formula for 2 days (gasp!) due to the medications I was given, which I'm not happy about but today is the last day of that. Then we'll be back to giving him my pumped milk and hopefully will be able to move back to breastfeeding, if all of this bottlefeeding hasn't ruined my breastfeeding chances completely. I just have to say that I don't understand how single parents do this. Since Benjamin has been on the bottle for the past few days, it has given Rob the opportunity to take half of the night shifts, of which I am very grateful! My mom, grandma, and sister have also been down constantly to help cook, clean, and take care of things and I don't know what I would do without them here. My grandma and sister go home in a few days but my mom will still be able to help a ton. Rob is just working about an hour a day right now but will need to get back into the swing of things here soon, which means he'll need more sleep...which means I'm in trouble!

Other than that, we are just enjoying our little guy! We are so in love with him and I look at him every day amazed that he came out of me and that he's alive and he's ours. :) We had a nice quiet Christmas at our house with my mom, grandma, and sister. It was also the 1 year anniversary of my dad's passing, so while it felt like he was missing, I am confident that he is with my girls right now and hopefully they were all watching over us.

His nursery is finally almost finished, but there are still a few unfinished details. Hopefully it will be done in the next week or so and then I'll get some pictures up. It's so cute. :)

I meant to get on here sooner but you know how it goes. Here are more pictures of our little miracle.

Christmas Eve

The best Christmas present ever

All of my loves :)

First family pic!

Birth Story & Pics :)

Here's my birth story:

So last night my friends gave me some of Dave's Insanity Sauce, which is the hottest hot sauce ever! I think it was that, among other things ;) that brought on my labor at 5:30am. I awoke to some contractions that were 5 minutes apart and painful, which is similar to what happened last Friday while I was getting ready for my appointment. I got my ipod out and listened to my relaxation scripts and timed the contractions, which were 5 minutes apart for an hour. At 6:30am I figured I better take a shower if I wanted one and Rob woke up to find out what was going on. I told him to get ready because I thought this was it. I also told him that he didn't have time for a shower. :) We went into the garage, I opened the car door to get in and our dog, Bailey, jumped right into the front seat to go with us! She would never normally that, so it was really funny to see her reaction to what was going on. We got on the road and arrived at the hospital at about 7:30am. They put me in a triage room to monitor me and my water broke at 7:50am. I was 4cm dilated and 80% effaced at this point. They sent me to a labor room and got me all set up. My mom and doula were there at this point and I was just sipping water and breathing through contractions, which were about 3-4 minutes apart. They got really intense really fast and by 10am or so I thought I might die. Really. I was so not strong, it was sad. I begged for the epidural...many times! My doula was SO amazing and kept redirecting me but by 10:30am we decided I would get checked again to give me some encouragement on how far along I was. I was only 5 1/2 cm...not exactly what I was looking for. That convinced me that I couldn't go on for another minute and demanded some drugs. They called in the anesthesiologists to come give me a consult. Then they had me go empty my bladder to help ease the contractions a little. As soon as I sat down, I felt like I needed to push but I was literally just checked and was only 5 1/2 cm. So I sat on the toilet for about an hour and breathed my baby down. The anesthesiologist gave me a consult in between killer contractions while I sat on the toilet and said that was a first for them, since I refused to get up. They were super busy so wouldn't be able to come back for about an hour or so, so my doula and I both knew I wouldn't be getting any drugs. I knew that the baby was coming down, which seemed impossible since I was not dilated enough; but I reached in and felt his head only an inch away from crowning. I never shared this with the nurse because my doula said the nurse would never let me stay on the toilet to push. A little after 11am, my nurse finally said I needed to come back to bed because she was having a hard time keeping his heart rate on the monitor, so I stood up and everyone saw that he was now crowning. They immediately called my OB to come ASAP so that he wouldn't miss the birth (he would've been upset). I labored on my knees while holding on with my arms to the top of the inclined bed. My OB got there quickly, and I pushed for about 20 more minutes in that position. He was born at 11:52am and was 8 lbs, 13 oz, and 20.5 inches long. I ended up with a 2nd degree tear, which is probably because he came so darn fast. I'm happy to say that I delivered with no drugs, which was my goal, but if my labor had been an hour longer than it was, that wouldn't have happened! The important thing is that he is here and he's healthy...and he's ours! :)

I'm also happy to say that he shares a birthday with his oldest sister, Makenna, who was stillborn 2 years ago today. I think it is very sweet that they were born on the same day. It is so surreal to stare at him and know that he just came out of my body and that he is finally here. It has been such a long journey and I am happy that I was able to share the stories of my children with so many people. The encouragement and prayers from everyone that has followed our story has been amazing and I am thankful for all of you. It is also amazing to watch Rob with our son...he is truly a natural and it is adorable. We feel SO blessed!

Here are some pics to enjoy. :)

Benjamin Samuel


After delivery

Rob & Ben


New Grandma, Ben & Me

And his name is...

After prayerful consideration, we have chosen his name: Benjamin Samuel Cline! To God be the glory for bringing our little child into this world. Words cannot express the joy of seeing and holding our son...

Benjamin means "favored son", or literally "son of my right hand". Samuel means "...because I asked of God". The Historical account of Hannah in the Old Testament is the root of our choosing this name. After much difficulty bearing a child, she fervently asked of God to give a son to her, and God answered her prayer. In response, she dedicated her son to God. Samuel grew up to be a great prophet and righteous servant of God all the days of his life. Our prayer for our son, in dedicating his life to our Heavenly Father, is that he be a righteous and wise man of God, truly worthy of being named after Samuel.

Benjamin was the youngest son of Jacob (Israel), who Jacob favored and held dear to his heart after "losing" Joseph, the only other son of his beloved wife, Rachel. Benjamin grew into a warrior tribe of skilled marksmen who were deft at defending Israel for generations. Apparently a fighter and defender of the Nation of Israel, Benjamin is a fitting name for our little tuff-guy, who has shown us his energetic "fighting" spirit throughout Jenell's pregnancy with his constant activity.

Thank you Lord, for this precious gift.

Rob & Jenell

He is born!

Well, I was going to give an update around 10:40 am, but things happened so fast! Our little boy is here! He is a healthy 8 lbs, 13 oz, 20.5 inches, and cute as can be. Jenell did awesome, and things are beautiful with her and our little guy both. Mommy is peaceful, relaxed, and our son is already latching and nursing at less than an hour old. Jenell did it naturally! Of course there were second thoughts when dealing with all the pain of labor, but things moved along so quickly that she just braved through it, and our son was born at 11:52 am. It was amazing to hear his first little cry, and we are so very happy and blessed =)

His name announcement will be next... Thank you everyone for your prayers, love, and positive encouragement. We are blessed to have such wonderful friends, family and blog buddies.

Rob

In Labor! :)

This is Rob, Jenell's husband. As the title states, we are in the maternity ward now, and Jen is in labor. I am sitting here by her side, and she is doing so great! She has asked me to update the blog every so often to let y'all know the play-by-play, so stay tuned...

Contractions started at 5;30 am this morning, and we made it to the hospital around 7:30 am, through rush hour traffic. Jen's water broke around 8 am, and contractions have been getting more frequent and painful; but Jen is a tough cookie. Her/our plan is to birth naturally, so your prayers for strength and pain relief are much appreciated :)

More to come soon...

Rob

38 weeks

Ok, I know that I sound like a broken record, but I can't believe I'm still pregnant. I definitely start getting a ton of contractions when I'm walking a lot, but they always go away. I actually thought I might be in labor yesterday morning because while getting ready for my appointment, I had contractions 5 minutes apart and they were painful. By the time I got to my OB's for a regular appointment, they totally stopped! I'll continue to see my OB twice a week for NST's but he won't be checking my cervix again until I'm 40 weeks, so I don't know if anything has changed since he removed the cerclage. He also won't induce until 41 weeks, which is 2010! There are many reasons that I don't want that to happen so this next week I'm pulling out all the stops. I'll be bouncing on my birth ball, doing squats, walking a lot, and even eating a fresh pineapple...we'll see if he gets the eviction notice. :)

I was told that babies tend to move less starting around 36 weeks because they run out of room, but not the case for this guy. He just keeps getting stronger and continues to move constantly...and I'm not exaggerating. I have seen so many medical people during this pregnancy (OB, peri's, nurses, u/s techs) and literally every single one has commented on how insanely active he is. For everyone that knows how Rob was growing up, you know that means we're in trouble! :)

I can also officially say that I'm really excited! I wish I could have gone through this entire pregnancy feeling that way, but at least I'm there now. God has brought me this far and has given me peace. I'm trying to be patient, but that's not working so well. The farther I get with this pregnancy it also makes me miss the girls that much more because I missed out on getting this far with them. I know after he's born it will be even harder too but I'll just have to deal with that as it comes. I know it's not going to be easy.

37 1/2 weeks

So I had another appointment today and there's no change. I'm still 2 cm dilated and my cervix is long! How that is possible, I have no idea. I've spent the last 6 months trying to keep this guy in here and have been praying for a long cervix and now I can't believe that the cerclage is out and I'm not even effaced. My contractions are still about 15 minutes apart and sometimes go to 10 minutes apart but no closer than that. They are definitely getting painful though, so I guess that is some progress. In fact, even his kicks are starting to get painful, but I still love them!

We got 6 inches of snow the other day, which is not normal at all for this area! It was really cool to have so much snow and it was really pretty. Here's a picture of our backyard full of snow.

I also took a belly picture today at 37 1/2 weeks. I'm up 27 pounds now but honestly feel like a whale. I seriously waddle everywhere and it's hard to sit and stand up. I'm definitely in the uncomfortable stages, but it's really not that bad.

Full term

Oh how I've longed to hear those words. I never thought I would ever make it to full term and here I am. I'm finally home from the hospital after having the cerclage removed this morning. It took about 20 minutes and I can't even begin to tell you how excruciating the pain was. It was worse than any of my past labors. If my labor and delivery are easier than this was, I'm good to go...if it's worse, then I'm in trouble. My OB felt horrible when he was done and saw me crying and I told him how bad the pain was. He asked why I didn't tell him to stop to give me something but the truth is, I didn't want another epi. He would have had to stop, take me to the OR, call in the anesthesiologist, give me the epi, wait for it to work and then I would have been there all afternoon waiting for the thing to wear off! I'm just so glad it's over.

So then he checked me and I'm 2 cm dilated, which isn't surprising. I was contracting about every 8 minutes but then it went down to every 10 minutes, so they released me. I'm supposed to come back when they're 5 minutes apart, but that could still be weeks away, which is what my OB is hoping. Me...not so much. I think I'm finally ready for him. Honestly though, now I'm terrified of labor. What if I can't do it? I know some people think it's not that important but it is really important to me to bring him into this world without drugs in his system. Yes, I've heard it all and I do know that 'I won't get a medal' and 'there's no reason to suffer', but it's just something that I feel really strongly about for us. I also know the most important thing is that he's alive and he's healthy. If I ask for pain meds or end up with a c-section, I realize it's not the end of the world...but that doesn't mean I won't cry just a little. :)

T-2 Days

The cerclage is coming out in 2 days!! The procedure is at 9am at the hospital and it shouldn't take long at all. My OB said he'll check me afterwards to see if I'm dilated at all and then they'll send me home! Some people go into labor a few days after removal and some go all the way to 40 weeks or even later. I would love to be somewhere in the middle but I guess all we can do is wait and see. Every person is different so there is just no way to know. Had another NST today and all is looking good.

I finally feel like I'm ready to go...the hospital bag is completely packed, the room is ready, the clothes are washed and the car seat is installed. I've still been randomly cleaning and organizing around the house and I just made my first meal to freeze last night. A couple more meals to go and then I'm all set. I'm not sure if I can say I'm emotionally ready, but I may never be. Just thinking about him actually being here still feels overwhelming and surreal, but I'm also really excited. I just can't wait to meet him!

I also want to add (just for you Shay) that when I do actually go into labor I had already planned on bringing the computer so that I can update along the way. I'm pretty sure my labor is going to go quick but you just never know. I'm a dork like that and definitely want pictures and notes to document everything for as long as I can. We'll see how it goes though.