I also want to say, please think before you make comments to a grieving mother. I know everyone means well and sometimes just don't know what to say, but if I'm talking about my girls, comments that mention me being pregnant again do not make me feel any better or overshadow the fact that my girls are not here. I know I am hormonal and emotional but these comments are hurtful. Being pregnant does not make this any easier, and in fact, sometimes I think it makes it even harder. Even if I go on to have 10 healthy children here on earth, it will not take away the pain that I have three girls in heaven. If your child died and someone said, 'well, at least you have other healthy children', would that comfort you? If your mom died and someone said, 'well, at least you have your dad right?', would that comfort you? Call me crazy, but I don't think it would. People cannot be replaced. I know it may not make sense to people unless they've been there, so I don't hold it against anyone. I just want people to try and understand that certain comments just don't help. I hope this doesn't offend anyone, but I just had to say it.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Happy Birthday Alexis & Ashlen
Well, today it has been an entire year since my girls were here. I just can't believe it was a whole year ago that I held them. It really seems like yesterday and all of the emotions that I felt on that day are still right on the surface. I miss them more than I can explain. I was going to make some cupcakes and of course didn't have the ingredients. I didn't feel like going to get them either and I really wasn't planning on leaving the house today but Rob and I decided to go out to lunch. We also decided that we would like to eventually bury all three of our girls and get a headstone made for them, since we feel like the area we live in now is where we will stay. After lunch we visited a local cemetery to get some information. I knew it was expensive but that sure was a little shocking! We have always wanted to buy some property so we're thinking that we will wait until we have some land and then bury them on our property and get a headstone at that time. I would much rather have them close than at a cemetery and then we wouldn't have to pay for a plot. And since I still haven't paid the huge hospital bill for their delivery (which I received a full 11 months after the fact!), a headstone won't be happening anytime soon. I am just as content having them here at home though, so that is where they will stay for now.