I've also come to the realization this week that I need to start looking into daycare options. The thought makes me sick to my stomach. I know some people choose to go back to work and are happy with that decision, but I feel like it is not a choice for me. Maybe a few years ago it would have been fine for me to continue working and I may not have minded as much, but everything is different now. I can't even bear the thought of having to leave him with a stranger and thinking about it makes me depressed. I do work from home, which is great, so I was hoping for some type of nanny in the home, but after further research it seems to be financially unattainable at the moment. For those that don't already know, I also plan to selectively vaccinate and cloth diaper, which may be really tricky with certain daycare options. I know those two subjects warrant a post on it's own and I'm very passionate about both so I'm sure that will come later. :) Anyway, I'm just really starting to face reality this week and it has put me in a not so happy place. I am the only source of income for our family so I feel a lot of pressure with that. I wanted my husband to be able to follow his dream of owning a business, so that is why we are in this situation. We're in our second year with the business and have never paid ourselves a penny because we're still trying to build it up. I hate to complain and don't want to sound selfish, because I feel very blessed and lucky to be where we are, it's just a lot of pressure. All I can do is give it all to God and continue to pray about it. I guess stressing doesn't help anything! Sorry for the rant...
Monday, November 23, 2009
Not too much news to report at 35 weeks. I've been having Non-Stress Tests (NSTs) twice a week and they've all been going great. He's passing with flying colors each time. As of today I'm measuring 37 weeks and I've gained 24 pounds! I'm finally packing it on...but hopefully not too much. :) So I finally got the cerclage removal scheduled and it's not until Saturday, December 5th! I'll be exactly 37 weeks that day. I was really hoping for earlier in the week, but his schedule was full. He was thinking we would go to the hospital to have it done so he picked Saturday. Normally he just removes it in the office, but since mine was placed so high, which is good, and it's still way up there, he said he'll need some instruments at the hospital. He also mentioned that he won't be using any anesthesia and it might be uncomfortable to remove due to the placement. Oh joy...can't wait for that. I've had some spotting on and off for about a week now but my cervix is still closed and I'm not dilated at all, so he's not worried. All I can do is plug along and wait for this little guy to come.