Our Crazy Life

It's been so long since I've updated and there is so much to share that I don't know where to start! We have been certified foster parents for a few years but have only had short term placements. Three months ago, we got a call for a little baby that we picked up from the hospital! Little munchkin is adorable and we now have his older sister who is only a year old. To say life is crazy is an understatement! We now have four little ones that are 5 and under and I am exhausted. We don't know what the future holds for these little ones but God knows. It is long term though so we are looking at another 6 to 12 months from now that they will be with us. This has honestly been the toughest road ever, physically and emotionally. Sometimes I wonder how I get through each day. Foster care really isn't for everyone, but it is so needed. This life is so short and I want to look back and think that I made a difference somehow. To put others before myself and serve them with love, even when I don't want to. I really wish I knew what the future holds but right now it is just one day at a time!

The craziest of all is that after we picked up munchkin, I found out I was pregnant. :) Honestly, I wasn't thinking too far ahead because of all of my losses but here I am at 18 weeks and not one complication. Absolutely amazing. I feel like God has protected me and this baby so that we can care for these little ones. So hopefully sometime in May, we will have 5 little ones under our roof. So blown away that I have been entrusted these kids to care for. To think that just 5 or so years ago, I wasn't sure I would ever be a mom to a living baby. So if you pray, please pray for us! :)

Another in Heaven

I've been dreading writing this post. Shortly after my last post, we found out the baby died. The SCH was responsible and it is amazing to me that Eden made it and this baby didn't, even though it was so tiny this time. I bled again and went in for an ultrasound and the SCH was literally taking up my entire uterus. It was massive. It basically smashed the baby. I had to wait for weeks and finally miscarried at 13 weeks, with the baby having passed at 11.5 weeks. My OB actually made me go naturally and is was very traumatic. I won't give details but it was similar to labor and delivery, but not as intense, but still very painful. I passed clots larger than I thought possible. After hours of non-stop bleeding and clots, I started to black out and Rob had to call 911. During the ambulance ride my BP dropped even lower than it was and I could tell the EMT knew it was more severe than she thought and I heard her go tell the driver to upgrade me and get us there as fast as possible. The ER had blood waiting for me and we thought for sure that I would need a transfusion but I am so thankful that I didn't end up getting one. The ER experience was also horrible and the only bright spot was a sweet Christian nurse who told me she was praying for me. The recovery also has been slow and 7 weeks later, I am still spotting. I've been weak from low iron but mostly feel normal, but it does come and go. I would have been 20 weeks on Mother's Day. :(

We are also still doing foster care and are currently finishing up our home study for adoption. About a month ago we had a little 10 month old girl that was only temporary but we were asked if we would be willing to have her placed with us. We totally fell in love with her and she fit in our family so well. Then she wasn't placed with us as we thought she would be and we were heartbroken and she left after 2 weeks, so we were sad all over again. The foster care system can be so complicated sometimes.

So here we are, grieving, but so thankful for our little miracles. Sometimes I wonder how these kids even made it. Just praying for what the future of our family might look like and trusting that the Lord has it all worked out.

18 months...and some news!

I can't believe it has been 6 months since I posted but it's been busy around here. Eden is 18 months old and such a little lady. She is so adorable and has a ton of curly blond hair like her daddy! She is seriously so advanced and talks amazingly for her age. I seriously can't believe her vocabulary and her ped even mentioned how advanced she is. I just think that is so amazing, given that she was born 5 weeks early! Ben turned 4 in December and I can't believe how old he is getting. He is such a sweet boy that melts my heart, (as long as he's not hurting his sister!) It's so great seeing them play together and interact and they just love each other so much.

As for the big news, we found out that we are expecting another little blessing in September!! We are still a bit in shock but are cautiously optimistic. I am 11 weeks and we've been hoping for a very boring pregnancy. Unfortunately, last week I started bleeding and it's deja vu all over again. I went in for an ultrasound and baby looks great but I was diagnosed with a subchorionic hematoma, just like last time. I seriously could not believe it. The good news is, it is very very small compared to last time. At this time with Eden, it was 10cmx8cm and this time it is only 3cmx.5cm. After a few bleeds, I am resting even though my OB (a new one) told me I do not need bedrest. I'm hoping after a week of relaxing I can resume normal activity and not need bedrest. I have an ultrasound in another week so I pray it will have shrunk or disappeared by then!