Appointment Update

So I just realized that I never updated after my appointment last Friday! Let's start with the good news. :) First, I am 14 weeks and now in the 2nd trimester, which is what my OB said was the first milestone. The baby is also still measuring a week ahead, which is good because some of my complications can restrict growth, which is not happening at all. The other amazing news is that the hematoma is now less than half of the size that it was three weeks ago! Praise the Lord! It was measuring 10cmX8cm, which is very large and now it is 4cmx3cm. That is huge progress in a few weeks. I am to continue on modified bedrest like I have been but he did say I could go to church once a week, out to eat occasionally, etc. I really want to do more but I also don't want to push it because the progress has been so good so far. Oh, and now I am thinking it's a girl but we are still really trying not to find out. And especially if it is a girl, as much as I would love to buy some girly stuff, I really think I would have some anxiety if I found out for sure it was a girl, so I would really rather not know.

The not so great news is that all of my other issues are still there. The membranes are still a little separated and the side where the SCH is has been rubbing on the membranes so they are ragged and weaker than they should be, which puts me at a high risk of my water breaking early (Pprom). The edge of my placenta is still low lying over the cervix but will probably move up and the edge of the placenta is still lifting up (small abruption) but he is hoping that it will reattach when the placenta moves. The last big news is that I will NOT be getting a cerclage! I have very very mixed feelings about this. Because the SCH is still right over the cervix he said a cerclage will definitely cause more bleeding and would possibly cause my water to break so the risks are just not worth it at this point. My cervix was measuring 5cm, which is really long and good and he will continue to check it every 2 weeks to measure the length. If it starts to shorten significantly, we will probably do the cerclage even with the major risks involved. So, this really scares me because if I truly do have IC, checking every two weeks likely will not catch it in time and I could lose the baby. On the other hand, my old doctors could never agree if I truly have IC or not and with the cerclage with Benjamin, my cervix was 4 or 5cm the entire pregnancy, which is beyond fantastic. I always wondered as well if I truly had it, especially after my last pregnancy. Of course, I assumed I would just always get a cerclage because I wasn't willing to "test it" and know for sure, but now that is out of my hands. So, all I can do is rest...and wait...and continue to pray for a miracle. Medically speaking, I feel like it is highly likely that this baby won't be coming home and the odds are definitely stacked against me, but I do know that God is bigger than all of this and I have been feeling peace about all of it. Time to just trust in the Lord.

I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4

12 weeks!

Well, here I am at 12 weeks! The good news is I'm still pregnant and I haven't been bleeding anymore! We really won't know anything more until two more weeks at my next ultrasound, so I just have to be patient and hope for a miraculous healing. I actually feel just fine physically so that makes this especially difficult to lay on the couch all day. I forgot how hard this bedrest was but it's all coming back to me now! We've had to hire a nanny to come take care of Benjamin during the day and help around the house and then poor Rob does everything all evening and weekend to take care of Benjamin and I. Our church family and my mom have been really great and are helping a ton and providing meals, so we are very thankful for that! I've been good for the most part but I've had a few rough emotional days. My mind can't help but wonder if I'm going to have to say goodbye to another baby and the anticipation of not knowing is hard. I'm just trusting in the Lord for strength to get through this.

I've pretty much completely popped out so I thought I'd take a belly picture. Baby was measuring a week ahead so I'm guessing he's about 13 weeks now. And yes, I think it's a boy. :)

Miracles

Well, I saw the high risk OB today and was given a very bleak diagnosis. The baby is measuring a week ahead and looks great but there are several issues going on. I have a low lying placenta, which is causing some bleeding, but it may move up so it's not a huge concern at this point. I also have a massive subchorionic hematoma that is surrounding half of the baby and sac. There is blood and blood clots pooled up everywhere and he said I'll probably bleed throughout my entire pregnancy. This hemtoma is a huge risk to the baby and if it grows any bigger the baby could die. It is also causing part of the placenta to detach from the uterus as well as the sac layers to separate and if either of these two things continue or get worse, the baby will die. The specialist said things look "very bad". It looks like I will need to be on bedrest for the duration of the pregnancy. I have a follow up appointment on April 6th to see if things have improved. Apparently this is another fluke. Wow, what are my chances, right? Please pray for miracle!


This diagnosis makes me realize even more what a miracle Benjamin is. Sometimes I still can't believe he is ours and we got to bring him home!

Prayers Appreciated!

Well, I was definitely expecting a little bit of craziness with this pregnancy, since I'm supposed to get the cerclage in a few weeks, but was really hoping for some smooth sailing! Guess I was a little too optimistic. :) I'll be 11 weeks on Saturday and this past week I started bleeding bright red! I was quite shocked but actually stayed pretty calm and was wondering if maybe I was going to have a miscarriage at 10 weeks. I went to my OB and had an ultrasound and the baby looked great and the heartbeat was strong, which was such a relief! So I was told they don't know why I'm bleeding and to take it easy. Everything was good for about 48 hours and then I had another bleeding episode yesterday. So I'm back to laying on the couch. I honestly am thinking maybe I have a sub chorionic hematoma, but they told me it was too early to tell, which I find interesting because many people are diagnosed with this as early as 5 or 6 weeks. So it just makes me think my doctor's ultrasound machine isn't good enough to see one. Anyway, I already had my high risk appointment scheduled for Monday so I'm hoping they can tell me more after an ultrasound with their high tech equipment. I've never had bleeding in the first trimester before but hey, there's a first for everything right? I've been praying a lot and I am definitely feeling the prayers of others so I know that is giving me peace. I'm just trying to trust in Jesus and am really hoping this baby makes it home this fall! One fear I have is that I don't think I can get a cerclage if I'm bleeding so if this keeps coming, we might be in trouble. Prayers are definitely appreciated!

HUGE news!

So, just a few weeks after we got certified, we got the call! I can't believe it happened so fast, but we got a call for a little 2 month old baby boy. He is SO adorable and Benjamin is loving him too.  He is so thick and weighs 14 lbs. already and is wearing 3-6 month clothes. He wakes up a few times a night to eat, which is already better than Benjamin ever was, but it sure is an adjustment! He has just a bit of fuzzy hair and big blue eyes. We were told this was only temporary (1-2 months) and they were right. We only had him for three short weeks and then he went to live with his new foster/adoptive family, who has already adopted his 15 month old sister. It was really hard to say goodbye and I cried the first night, but I know that we'll be fine. I also get to continue to pray for him and even though he is with his possibly adoptive family, he is still in reunification with his mother so this family does have to fight to try to keep him and it may not be an easy road for them. So right when we had to give him up, our social worker asked if we wanted to take another little baby boy who is 6 weeks. We would only have a few days in between the two babies and I was told this would be a 6-12 month placement. We thought and prayed about it for a day and had to give an answer and we said yes! So I was really excited about another little one coming to join us and a few days later received a call that he was unexpectedly being reunited with his birth father, so he won't be coming here after all. I've learned this process is definitely an emotional roller coaster, but we are just rolling with the punches!

Here is a pic of Ben holding the little guy. It's not a great picture of him but I didn't think I should really show his face, since this is public.

In other big news, see the picture below. We found out right after we got certified. I know, right?!? Huge miracle! :)

Had an ultrasound today and saw the heartbeat! I'm due very early October, which probably means baby will be here late September. Prayers would definitely be appreciated!!

It's Official!

So it's official that I am a horrible blogger! I cannot believe I haven't written a post since June. So life has been crazy and fun. Being at home with Benjamin is amazing and fulfilling and there is not a dull moment around here. I am very much embracing my inner homemaker and loving it!

 Ben at 18 months

 These are a few pics that we had taken over the summer by a friend of Rob's sister. They turned out great! (Taken by Lovelock and Co)

Here's Benjamin trying to pick up a giant pumpkin!

God has also been blessing our business abundantly and it is so awesome to see. We keep having to hire new employees, which is so cool, especially in this economy! I believe we now have 8 full time employees, not counting Rob. It is so amazing to look at it all now and remembering how we started working right out of our garage with Rob doing all of the work.







Benjamin turned 2 in December and I can't believe it. He is getting so huge and he talks up a storm. He loves to talk and he has been singing, which is so cute. He also now asks me to rock with him and sing to him before nap and bedtime, which I just love so much. I used to rock him to sleep when he was a baby and then around 1 he stopped letting me so I am really enjoying my cuddle time. He also loves to throw, destroy, and take apart everything, as well as wrestle.



It's also official that we are finally certified for foster care! I laugh when I see we thought it would be done in August. :) It took quite a bit longer than expected but I am happy to report that it is done and now we just wait for a phone call. Very excited, and a bit nervous but we know this is what we are supposed to do.

This is how he sleeps in the car :)

Changes!

Ok, I can finally talk about the changes that we have going on with our family and I'm seriously bubbling with excitement as I type this! :)

1) Some of you already know this but Rob and I are in the process of getting certified to become foster parents with the hopes of adopting. Adoption has always been in my mind but over this past year so many things have happened to move us in that direction and God has really put it on our hearts to do this. We are working with a local agency to first become foster parents and then hopefully adopt as well. We know that this will not be an easy road and can be very scary, but we know it is what God wants us to do. These children are in foster care due to some kind of trauma, abuse, neglect, etc and it breaks my heart. We hope to be certified sometime around August and then we just wait for a phone call! The process is very intensive and we have a lot to do to get our house ready and answer an insane amount of very personal questions about our entire life up to this point. Please pray for us as we go through this process and that God would hand pick a child (or children) to entrust in our care. :)

2) This is something we have been praying about for YEARS and I seriously can't believe it is happening! We've decided that I will be quitting my job and staying home with Benjamin. This has been on my heart for SO long and I am so blessed to be able to do this. We have been praying for years that our business would flourish enough for us to support our family so that I could quit my job and that time is finally here. In a tumultuous economy of ups and downs and watching other businesses in our industry go out of business or downsize, it is so very obvious to us that God is blessing us right now. I've also been revamping our family budget for awhile now to help. We've cut cable a long time ago, I'll be canceling our landline and I've been saving hundreds of dollars by couponing and getting stuff for free at drugstores. (You can see more details on this by clicking on "blogs" at the top of my page). This is going to be a huge adjustment for me, as I've been working for the same company for 8 years, but it will be a very welcome change. I've already started looking for activities that I can take Benjamin to, like toddler storytime at the library, the zoo, museums, etc and I can't wait. I've also been thinking about ways that I can be a better helper for Rob, like making him coffee and helping him get going in the mornings, which he's going to LOVE. This is a huge test of faith for us, since we've never really had to rely on God for all of our needs before but He has confirmed for us over and over that He will provide for us. My last day of work is June 16th and then I will officially be a full time domestic engineer!

So there you have it! Big and exciting changes for our family. :)