Our Crazy Life

It's been so long since I've updated and there is so much to share that I don't know where to start! We have been certified foster parents for a few years but have only had short term placements. Three months ago, we got a call for a little baby that we picked up from the hospital! Little munchkin is adorable and we now have his older sister who is only a year old. To say life is crazy is an understatement! We now have four little ones that are 5 and under and I am exhausted. We don't know what the future holds for these little ones but God knows. It is long term though so we are looking at another 6 to 12 months from now that they will be with us. This has honestly been the toughest road ever, physically and emotionally. Sometimes I wonder how I get through each day. Foster care really isn't for everyone, but it is so needed. This life is so short and I want to look back and think that I made a difference somehow. To put others before myself and serve them with love, even when I don't want to. I really wish I knew what the future holds but right now it is just one day at a time!

The craziest of all is that after we picked up munchkin, I found out I was pregnant. :) Honestly, I wasn't thinking too far ahead because of all of my losses but here I am at 18 weeks and not one complication. Absolutely amazing. I feel like God has protected me and this baby so that we can care for these little ones. So hopefully sometime in May, we will have 5 little ones under our roof. So blown away that I have been entrusted these kids to care for. To think that just 5 or so years ago, I wasn't sure I would ever be a mom to a living baby. So if you pray, please pray for us! :)

Another in Heaven

I've been dreading writing this post. Shortly after my last post, we found out the baby died. The SCH was responsible and it is amazing to me that Eden made it and this baby didn't, even though it was so tiny this time. I bled again and went in for an ultrasound and the SCH was literally taking up my entire uterus. It was massive. It basically smashed the baby. I had to wait for weeks and finally miscarried at 13 weeks, with the baby having passed at 11.5 weeks. My OB actually made me go naturally and is was very traumatic. I won't give details but it was similar to labor and delivery, but not as intense, but still very painful. I passed clots larger than I thought possible. After hours of non-stop bleeding and clots, I started to black out and Rob had to call 911. During the ambulance ride my BP dropped even lower than it was and I could tell the EMT knew it was more severe than she thought and I heard her go tell the driver to upgrade me and get us there as fast as possible. The ER had blood waiting for me and we thought for sure that I would need a transfusion but I am so thankful that I didn't end up getting one. The ER experience was also horrible and the only bright spot was a sweet Christian nurse who told me she was praying for me. The recovery also has been slow and 7 weeks later, I am still spotting. I've been weak from low iron but mostly feel normal, but it does come and go. I would have been 20 weeks on Mother's Day. :(

We are also still doing foster care and are currently finishing up our home study for adoption. About a month ago we had a little 10 month old girl that was only temporary but we were asked if we would be willing to have her placed with us. We totally fell in love with her and she fit in our family so well. Then she wasn't placed with us as we thought she would be and we were heartbroken and she left after 2 weeks, so we were sad all over again. The foster care system can be so complicated sometimes.

So here we are, grieving, but so thankful for our little miracles. Sometimes I wonder how these kids even made it. Just praying for what the future of our family might look like and trusting that the Lord has it all worked out.

18 months...and some news!

I can't believe it has been 6 months since I posted but it's been busy around here. Eden is 18 months old and such a little lady. She is so adorable and has a ton of curly blond hair like her daddy! She is seriously so advanced and talks amazingly for her age. I seriously can't believe her vocabulary and her ped even mentioned how advanced she is. I just think that is so amazing, given that she was born 5 weeks early! Ben turned 4 in December and I can't believe how old he is getting. He is such a sweet boy that melts my heart, (as long as he's not hurting his sister!) It's so great seeing them play together and interact and they just love each other so much.

As for the big news, we found out that we are expecting another little blessing in September!! We are still a bit in shock but are cautiously optimistic. I am 11 weeks and we've been hoping for a very boring pregnancy. Unfortunately, last week I started bleeding and it's deja vu all over again. I went in for an ultrasound and baby looks great but I was diagnosed with a subchorionic hematoma, just like last time. I seriously could not believe it. The good news is, it is very very small compared to last time. At this time with Eden, it was 10cmx8cm and this time it is only 3cmx.5cm. After a few bleeds, I am resting even though my OB (a new one) told me I do not need bedrest. I'm hoping after a week of relaxing I can resume normal activity and not need bedrest. I have an ultrasound in another week so I pray it will have shrunk or disappeared by then!

1 year!

I really can't believe that our sweet Eden Grace is already a year old. It's amazing how time flies. I am still in awe that our little girl was born 100% healthy and we got to take her home. Things could have gone so differently and I truly know it's a miracle that she got to come home with us at all.

She is such a little snuggler, which I love! She loves her big brother and tries to play with him all the time. They are so cute together and already fight with each other. She is quite the vocal one as well. She makes it known when she doesn't like something and yells very loudly. She already says a ton of words and is definitely more advanced than Ben was at this age. She says mama, dada, Ben (sounds like Ba) no, up, bye and more. She walks across a room but definitely prefers to crawl so far.

Life is just busy and crazy but fun! We are actually just finishing up a few things to stay certified for foster care and have been praying about accepting placements again towards the end of this year. It definitely scares me to even think about going from 2 to 3 but I guess we'll see what happens!

Summertime

I have been so bad about being on here and I seriously can't believe that our little Eden is going to be a year old in a few months. So insane! Life is grand, we are blessed, and I have to pinch myself to make sure it's all real. The kids are getting so big and watching them grow is awesome. There really isn't anything new or exciting, just living life. :)

 Side by side of the kids at 5 months

 Family trip to the ocean

 8 months

 Baby kisses

Sibling love

4 months

So I've been horrible at updates, but what can I say? I'm a little busy. :) Eden is doing fantastic and still growing so well. She's almost 5 months now and at her 4 month appointment she was 15lbs. and 25". She is so strong too and has been sitting up for a few weeks. She topples over after a little bit but she beat her brother on this milestone because he was 5 months before he sat up! She is such a happy baby and is always smiling and laughing. Benjamin gets her to laugh the loudest and she just loves her brother! We had a rough period from a little after 6-12 weeks where she was colicky but thank the Lord that went away. I thought I was going to lose my mind. She would cry every evening for a few hours and nothing would help. She still isn't a great sleeper and is up every 3-4 hours...sometimes every 2 still. Sooo, I'm a bit of a zombie but have adjusted and am handling it much better than I did with Benjamin. Still hoping that one day she just starts sleeping through the night! :)

Benjamin is the best big brother and just loves Eden so much. Every morning and after every nap all he wants to do is see her and always tells her he misses her and loves her. He turned 3 in December and I can't believe how much of a big boy he is. Time really does fly by! I'm adjusting to life with 2 kids and it's really quite fun. I feel so blessed to be able to stay at home and raise these two little munchkins!

2 months

Benjamin is 3!

Merry Christmas

4 months

Growing like a weed...

Well, it has been busy around here! I'm finally getting into a routine with our new family of four. Eden is doing so great and is gaining weight like crazy. At her 2 week appointment, she had already gained 2 pounds and her doctor was amazed! She was last weighed at about 6 weeks or so and she was 11 lbs! She is definitely a little chunky monkey and has a ton of rolls. Now that she has filled out she is really starting to resemble Benjamin. She's a super sweet little baby and only cries when she's hungry. She's still waking up every 2-3 hours to eat so I'm pretty tired but I think I'm finally getting used to it. Maybe we'll get lucky and she'll start sleeping through the night before a year old like Benjamin did!

Benjamin is getting much better with his sister and showers her with about 100 kisses a day. He's really cute with her (most of the time) and the other day he went up to her and whispered to her "I love you Eden Grace". It was the most adorable thing ever. :) He still has his moments where he is too rough with her but it's much better than it was the first few weeks. I think he realizes that she's not going anywhere.

Except for the sleep deprivation, I feel really great. Breastfeeding has gone fantastic this time around, even with her being a preemie, which is so amazing. It was so hard with Benjamin so I'm glad we didn't have to deal with any issues. My recovery actually seemed better too and after a week or two I didn't even feel like I just had a baby.  Just feeling so blessed with all that God has given me!

Her first smile

My favorite picture of Benjamin snuggling with his sister

Sleeping beauty